Why did she dress that way ? Why do you care – the rationale please ?

Let me start by making it very clear. I truly believe in what the following statement says: “If I'm woman and I'm walking down the street naked, you STILL don't have a right to rape me”- Dick Gregory. 

I don’t really know who this Dick Gregory is (I wouldn’t have known this sentence without facebook) but the statement makes sense; in fact a society can be judged by the acceptance of such rights to its citizens; and if it is a truly liberal society. 

India is “outraged” at the incident in Delhi. But was India not outraged every time a rape happened. It’s like the virginity thing. You can’t lose it again and again.  India cannot be outraged every time the same crime happens. May be it’s the lack of adjectives to express the anguish, that media is forced to use outrage every time. But what would be the outcome of this outrage, most likely it will be nothing. Just another opportunity to make candle lit marches, celebrities making great statements, and people like me writing blogs like this one.

It is the political class that is to take action. But these incidents are too insignificant to make them act, because it just does not pay in terms of votes to take strong actions. The issue of safety of common man is not yet significant enough to form political alliances, extend incentives to the network of local to center level politicians. Security of women, their dignity, their rights (also of men), have to be issues as politically deciding as the ones like LPG price, inflation, petrol price, etc

Coming to the discussion on the statements like: Why did she dress that way, why did she go there at that time, what was she doing there etc.

When men (or women) say such things, there needs to be a differentiation of people based on what is their premise-conclusion process, and the reason behind making such statements.

There are those who are still stuck in a medieval time frame and just cannot tolerate an educated, independent woman, dressing the way she wants to, going where she wants to, and doing what she want to. These minds I feel mostly come from the rural pockets, but would also exist in cities; would also have a package of hard fixed notions of patriarchy, woman as a house-hold being, rights to man and responsibilities to woman, family honor whose onus is on woman, and other unreasonable and unacceptable thoughts of preference for male child etc etc.

When this set of people make such statements (why did she dress that way), they surely mean to find fault purely with the woman, the victim. They accept the society in its bad and ruthless form, they condone the inefficiency of police, and place the blame totally on her. The proponents of other medieval, woman-repressive practices of burkha too should fall within this category. It is this set of people who are to be thoroughly criticized, ostracized and forced to change.

But with every such incident, this set gets a reason to say why are right, a kind of vindication With every such crime, comes the risk of more people joining their side.

Now, coming to the other set of people who too say: why was she dressed that way, etc. But what is important is the reason why they say it. It is only out of concern for their loved ones, when they go out to areas not considered very safe. They are only suggesting precautions for safety of women. They are all for women’s rights and freedom but they also realize our society is not yet fully civilized enough to handle such liberalism. They do not accept the society the way it is, but they realize it would take long years for it to transform. But till then, should women not be careful, use their discretion and take precautions? They know police cannot be everywhere, all the time, though the police might do its best, but the responsibility of safety and security should first begin from oneself. When a mother tells her daughter no to stay out late, it is not to curb her rights, but to avoid risks. These are not the patriarchal, oppressive types who oppose women’s freedom. These are the liberal, yet practical minds who are concerned for the safety of women in this wild society.

Though the lines both the sets of people say are the same, the motive and the rationale is totally different.